


Orcs in the Library

by Annariel



Series: Primeval Meets Lord of the Rings [3]
Category: Primeval, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Gen, Humour, Redeeming Orcs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-02
Updated: 2014-01-02
Packaged: 2018-01-07 04:21:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1115442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annariel/pseuds/Annariel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Orcs it would seem, were not  so much multiplying as reading in the mountains.  Though this story does not rule out the possibility of multiplication as well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Orcs in the Library

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fredbassett](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fredbassett/gifts).



> Beta read by fififolle.

"What is the delay with the locking device?" Becker asked impatiently.

"Errr... Working on it?" Connor said.

"It's not actually Connor's fault that it got bashed. It must have happened when someone was storing it away," Abby said loyally. There was a slight tone of reproachment in her voice.

Becker didn't really care how it had got damaged. What he cared about was that he needed it working now. He eyed the anomaly with suspicion.

"All the staff have left the building, sir! And it's locked. The library is clear!" Blade reported, which meant at least something was going right.

Becker surveyed the area again. It was a small local library. Really just a large room with rows of shelves in it. He had hopes that they could easily contain anything that came through the anomaly as long as it wasn't too small and quick.

"Incoming!" Finn shouted.

Becker sighed inwardly and glanced back towards the anomaly, raising his EMD. The creature that came through was like nothing he'd ever seen before. It was carrying a spear so he would have been tempted to consider it an early human except that its face was nothing like a human's. It was completely hairless and its skin was a slightly greenish colour. It had a protruding jaw and Becker thought he could see sharp canines behind the lips. It was also, he noted, wearing some kind of armour which definitely laid the "early human" theory to rest, either that or they were about to do simply terrible things to the field of archaeology.

The creature pointed the spear right at him and took up a defensive posture. Half a dozen more followed it through the anomaly including, Becker noted, two smaller versions, presumably their young.

"I've got it working, oh boy!" Connor's enthusiastic shout tailed away. Becker felt the young man's presence at his back, peering over his shoulder, and sighed inwardly. If he had to retreat he was going to bump straight into him.

"Who are you?" Connor followed up his statement by talking to the creature.

"It's not going to speak English, is it?" Becker growled in frustration.

"Speak Common! Speak Westron!" The creature responded, though it kept its spear pointed directly at them. "Orcs not as stupid as you humans think."

"OK, well that's a start," Connor said.

"Put down your weapons!" Becker ordered. "We have you surrounded."

The orc laughed, a low guttural sound. "Not likely. We've got longer spears than your clubs."

"It's not a club. It's a gun," Connor said.

The orc spat and shrugged.

"We mean you no harm," Abby intervened. 

"If you go back through the anomaly, we won't follow you," Becker added, hoping vainly to keep the situation under control.

"Why should we trust humans? Humans hate us!" The orc spat again. "Even the ones that follow Sauron."

"Well, we don't know who Sauron is and we've never seen orcs before, so we have no reason to hate you if you don't give us one," Emily said.

The orc eyed her warily, its spear swinging between her and Becker.

One of the other orcs put down its spear and stepped forward to tug at the sleeve of the leader, "Ragobal, they don't look like Gondorians!"

"Idiot!" Ragobal shrugged off the hand. "Not all humans are from Gondor! All hate us!"

"Err... no!" Connor waved his hand.

"Think we were made evil," Ragobal said.

"The Bible teaches us that nothing is made evil," Emily interrupted suddenly.

"Can we keep theology out of this," Becker interrupted. "Look! We don't know who or what you are. We are only interested in making sure nothing comes through that anomaly, so if you just go back where you came from everything will be all right."

Ragobal sniffed and pointed its spear directly at Becker. "We don't take orders from you!"

Becker was aware that Emily had vanished off into the library stacks somewhere which could not be good. 

"Errr... could you please go back through the anomaly?" Connor asked. "Though if you felt like giving us a quick run down on Gondor and Sauron and that kind of thing first then we wouldn't object."

"Yes, we would," Becker contradicted.

"We could really use some idea of what is going on here," Connor began to argue.

"Here is the Bible," Emily announced suddenly marching up to the orc brandishing a book. "Do you read?"

"Ragobal taught herself," one of the other orcs said, a note of pride in its voice. This was followed by a certain amount of shushing.

"Emily, errr, I don't think the Bible says anything about orcs," Connor began.

"It has a very clear account of the nature of sin and original sin. I'm sure they can adapt the idea," Emily said firmly.

"Now wait a moment, you can't go trying to convert them to Christianity," Abby interrupted.

"I'm just trying to convince them that we're friendly," Emily returned.

One of the orcs took the bible from her and began flicking through the pages.

"I spotted the Communist Manifesto a couple of shelves over, we could give them that as well, to counterbalance the Bible," Lyle suggested.

"No one is giving them any more books. These are not our books," Becker said desperately.

"There's a good children's section too," chipped in Kermit. "For the little ones," he nodded towards the smaller orcs.

Becker turned in desperation towards Ragobal who was now leaning on her spear and looking a lot less fierce. He could tell she was eyeing the library speculatively.

"Ten books each and we'll go," she said.

"Five," Becker said automatically.

"Seven and that's my final offer."

* * *

King Aragorn II regarded the party of orcs in the audience chamber with a certain wary disbelief.

"You are seeking asylum from persecution?" he asked.

"According to the fourteenth Article in the United Nations Universal Declaration of Human Rights," said the leading orc.

"Which we also think applies to orcs," chipped in another. The leader promptly cuffed it around the ear.

Aragorn could hear Arwen suppressing a giggle. He rubbed his forehead. He had a feeling this was going to be a long day.


End file.
